Chapter 1
I hated people. Well, that was an exaggeration, but not by much. In general, I really didn’t like the human race. Maybe I was jaded from bouncing around foster homes, or maybe I’d gained more than my share of life experiences, which allowed me to see others’ flaws. Regardless, the circle of people I liked was minute.
A shrill screech traveled down the hallway of the rental house I shared with my best friends, Benji and Avery.
Benji rounded the corner at high speed. An expression of horror twisted his handsome features as he backed into the counter of our small kitchen, which was decorated in roosters. Cocks. The room had rooster border paper, rooster dish towels, and rooster potholders. The decor was all Benji’s idea. My man adored cocks in every sense of the word.
His hand fluttered over his heart as he gasped and pointed down the hall from where he’d just hightailed it. “Tensley. Please, girl, make her stop.” He ran his fingers through his spiked blond hair as his chest heaved visibly.
Benji was absolutely gorgeous. His lean frame was perfectly balanced with just the right amount of muscle to be sexy but not obscene, and he was one of the best swimmers on Norman University’s team. His glacier-blue eyes could melt even the most callous person, and his abs rippled like a lake’s water after someone had smoothly skipped a stone. But women did nothing for him, not even our beautiful roomie, Avery, who had attempted to seduce him the first time they had met. He’d shot her down in a New York second, leaving her to pick her self-esteem up off the floor. After I clued her in that no girl would be able to turn Benji on, we’d laughed and brushed the incident off. Last year, we had all moved in together. Finding good roomies was the key to college success, and I needed to make sure I completed my last two years with a strong GPA.
I tilted my head slightly and closed my chemistry book. The current situation should have proved intriguing and deserved my full attention. When Benji was horrified, he was typically interesting. Not to mention highly entertaining.
“Make her stop.” His voice was strained as the color drained from his face.
I covered my mouth with my hand and attempted to hide the ornery grin that was pulling at the corners of my mouth. “Benji, what’s wrong?”
I propped my elbows on the only space left on the white-tiled kitchen island. Avery had just returned from the grocery store half an hour ago, and due to my studies, I still hadn’t unloaded the plastic bags that littered the otherwise clean and tidy area.
Benji swallowed visibly and pointed toward the hall. “She’s naked,” he finally managed to choke out.
No longer able to hide my reaction, I barked out a laugh. “Our nudist is streaking around the house again?” I scooted my barstool back and grabbed some of the groceries to unload. “Avery!” I called as I opened our fickle refrigerator. We never knew from one day to the next if it would work, but our landlord continued to fix it. He was probably hoping it would limp along for a few more years. “Could you please put some clothes on so I don’t have to call 9-1-1? Benji is about to have a heart attack.”
My focus cut to Benji, who had begun to regain his wits. “She just does it to get a rise out of you.” I bit into a Granny Smith apple, which spewed juice in every direction. “Well, maybe not a rise.” I giggled at my own joke and gently elbowed him in the side.
Disgust twisted Benji’s face, and he wiped the apple juice off his cheek.
“Sorry,” I said around a mouthful of apple.
Benji pushed off the counter, snatched up a grocery bag full of frozen meals, then shoved them in the freezer. “I just don’t understand her need to run around butt-ass naked in front of me. Aren’t there … boundaries?” He grabbed the loaf of bread next and placed it in the bread box his mom had donated to our humble abode.
His parents had helped us out a lot. Most of the furniture, his bedroom suite, pots, pans, plates, and utensils had come from them. Avery’s parents had also kicked in. Mine hadn’t. They hadn’t contributed a dime. My father had split when I was three, and I hadn’t seen my mom since I was twelve. Eventually, I’d come to understand that I was on my own, and I had learned how to survive on the bumpy road called life. Foster kids didn’t have families—they were just a number in the government’s system and a paycheck to the adults that pretended to give a shit when the social worker showed up to evaluate the kids.
Benji wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Are you ready to get your head out of your books and have some fun tonight?”
“Oh, I wasn’t under the impression I had a choice.” I grinned at him while I placed the gallon of milk into the fridge. Then I opened the Seattle’s Best coffee package and poured it into an airtight container. We never skimped on the dark roast. It was our life force.
Benji huffed and placed his hands on his hips, staring a hole through me. “Seriously, Ten, you should probably get ready.”
I arched my eyebrow and shot him an amused look. “I am ready.” I blew a loose strand of blond hair out of my face and tugged on my oversized Big Bang Theory T-shirt that hit my skinny jeans midthigh. Maybe my dress code wasn’t always up to par with Benji and Avery’s, but my clothes fit and were clean. That was all I needed.
“Aw, hell no.” Benji wagged a finger at me. “You’ll never get laid wearing that. Besides, how long has it been? You probably have dust bunnies in your vajayjay.”
Although I wasn’t a nun, I rarely slept around. It wasn’t because I didn’t have needs—I just hadn’t found anyone I wanted to have consistent booty calls with. Plus, I wasn’t interested in anything long-term. The word “commitment” wasn’t even in my vocabulary.
“Avery!” Benji called. “We need to borrow some clothes from your closet. Are you wearing anything now?”
A moment of silence filled the house before Avery responded. “Yes! I’m dressed. Come on back.”
I snickered. “She’s probably only half-dressed.”
Benji’s nostrils flared. “I’m sending you in first. Boobs and twats don’t bother you. You’re my first line of defense.”
Grabbing his hand, I led him out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into Avery’s room.
Half an hour later, my long hair was brushed and straightened, I had a light dusting of brown eyeshadow that made my blue eyes pop, and Avery had dabbed mascara on my thick lashes. I used to wonder if I looked like my dad, although Mom had been pretty at one time.
I shut those thoughts down and focused on Benji. He’d selected a deep V-neck teal top for me to wear. It showed off more cleavage than I was comfortable with, but he’d literally blocked me from Avery’s closet before I could grab something else. Avery had tossed her Citizens jeans at me. For the most part, we were the same size, except I was a bit bustier than she was.
“You look hot as hell,” Avery said, grabbing my breasts and squishing them together to plump up my boobs even more. She was continually touching me, fluffing my hair, adjusting various parts of me, and patting my butt. It never bothered me, though. She was like my sister, and from what I’d heard, sisters did stuff like that.
My focus traveled over Avery’s flawless tan skin. A smattering of freckles covered her perky nose, and her dark-brown hair accentuated green eyes that were framed by illegally long eyelashes. Avery was stunning. Her boobs, hips, and ass were perfectly proportioned. She stood at five foot nine and was thin without being too skinny. No matter where she was, she turned the heads of both guys and girls. She tucked her red shirt into her designer jeans and slipped her feet into her black heels.
Benji motioned for us to hurry up. “Let’s go! It’s almost ten thirty. Thank God tomorrow is Saturday and we get to sleep in.”
I located my purse and double-checked that my phone was in it. Minutes later, we all piled into the gray Lexus Coupe Benji’s parents had bought him the year before. It was his baby, and he would ream anyone if they left trash in it. He flipped on the SiriusXM radio, and we sang at the top of our lungs to “Say Something” by Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton. Their harmony was insane, and I could listen to the song on repeat for hours.
As Benji located an open spot in the parking lot of the bar, I leaned forward from the back seat. “Wow, it’s packed!”
Barney’s was the most popular college hangout. It was overall safe and clean, and the service was excellent. They had a dance floor in the middle of the room as well, and on occasion, I was coaxed into joining my friends in a drunken display. It was one of the few places I was comfortable going to alone, but normally Avery or Benji was with me.
Benji rubbed his hands together. “It’s the big track meet tomorrow. Well, I’m guessing that’s why it’s so packed. Several other teams are in Spokane, and I bet we’ll find lots of hunky men inside.” An impish smile eased across his face.
“Oh, that’s right. Maybe we won’t be going home alone tonight,” Avery piped in, turning toward me. “Right?”
I rolled my eyes at their constant attempts to get me laid. “Um, no. My cobwebbed twat and I are just fine, but thanks for thinking of me.”
We got out of the car and walked to the front door of the bar. When Benji opened the door for us, the music and noise nearly knocked me backward. Packed wasn’t even the word for it. It was standing room only.
A large group of rowdy drunk guys shouldered their way through the crowd toward us, and I quickly moved as they barreled through the exit.
“A table!” Avery yelled over the thumping tunes, pointing at a spot near the bar.
I grabbed Benji’s hand and pulled him behind me as I followed Avery.
After making it through the mass of people, Benji eased down into a chair. “Perfect.”
Avery pointed at the bartender. “I’ll order drinks!” Then she disappeared into the throng of students.
“This is insane!” I said. “This track meet must be something special.”
Benji’s blue eyes drifted over the room and stopped on a guy in a burgundy-and-white baseball hat. I nudged him and nodded to the hottie he’d spotted. The guy’s closely trimmed beard accentuated his angular jaw, and a few dark curls peeked out from the rim of his cap.
“He’s dreamy, Tensley!” Benji chewed on his bottom lip as he continued to assess the stranger.
Benji was right. The guy was tasty. His smile lit up his face, reaching his deep-brown eyes, and his muscular biceps flexed as he reached up and placed his hands behind his head.
Benji sighed, his shoulders sagging forward. “I’d love to take him home, but …”
“Wait, did you and Thomas make up?” I secretly hoped Benji was going to tell me he’d finally kicked the D-bag to the curb, but I’d never admitted that I hated how Thomas treated him.
“Yeah. I told him I’d give it another try. Well, I’ll give him one last chance.” Sadness flickered across his face. “He’s cheated on me twice.”
I reached across the small, circular table and squeezed his hand. “Honey, you don’t have to put up with that bullshit. You’re better than that.”
Before he could comment, Avery showed up with a Sex on the Beach, Cape Cod, and a margarita. She placed them on the table in front of us, and I took a long pull of my vodka cranberry through the straw, then sank back into the seat.
“I’ll get the next round,” Benji said as Avery settled in.
She grabbed her chair and scooted over next to me. “Oh, so much better. I can see the eye candy from here.” She winked at me as she sipped her margarita.
We fell into a comfortable silence as the music blared and a group of approximately twenty people danced. I loved people watching. When I was younger and had been placed in my first foster home at age twelve, I would walk to the neighborhood park, sit on the bench under a giant oak tree, and observe families. I would make up stories about them in my mind while they played or picnicked. It was easier than approaching some kid and asking them to play. I’d learned the hard way after I’d been laughed at because of my Goodwill clothes or ratty hair. I had been incredibly shy, and no one could make fun of me creating make-believe friends if they didn’t know what I was thinking.
“Let’s dance, bitches!” Benji hopped up and grabbed my hand.
“Now? I’m not drunk enough,” I argued.
Avery pulled on my arm until I stood. “Yes, now.”
I knew when to argue with them and when it was a moot point. I followed them through the slightly thinned-out crowd until Benji found a spot for us at the corner of the floor.
The heavy vibration of “The Devil You Know” by the X Ambassadors traveled through my body. My skin hummed with excitement as I allowed the music to consume every part of me.
Benji slipped an arm around my waist and gave me a bump with his butt. “Look up on stage!” He nodded in the direction where the band typically set up. But that night, the platform was nearly empty except a few drums the bar owner had left there … for me.
A slow grin spread across my face.
Avery danced around us, her hips swaying to the music as she tossed her hands up in the air and laughed.
“I definitely need more alcohol for that, sweet cheeks!” I yelled.
“I’ll be right back.” Benji kissed my cheek and disappeared into the crowd.
Avery grasped my hand and twirled me around. “Let’s give the boys something to talk about.” She winked at me, and I giggled. She closed the small gap between us, and our boobs brushed against each other. Her hands slid down my back and patted my ass. I wasn’t gay, but if I were ever to experiment, it would be with Avery. She was my best friend, and if I ever grew curious, I would trust her. But I wasn’t interested. It was fun to watch all the guys walk around with rock-hard dicks, constantly shifting in order to regain some kind of comfort, but that was all it was—us being silly. Normally, Avery would have her pick of hot men after we gave them a show anyway. Turning around, she nestled against me as she guided my hands over her stomach.
“You two, break it up already.” Benji stood in front of me with two shots of rum and a mixed drink.
Avery continued to dance as he handed me the first one.
“Oh hell, are you going to …” Avery’s voice trailed off as she watched me slam the drink.
I reached for the second. “Next.”
“You’re all set up.” Benji took my empty glasses and handed me the rum and coke.
I took a few gulps and shook my head, releasing a soft hiss as the alcohol burned the back of my throat. “Woohoo!” I threw my arms up over my head and released a loud whoop. The drinks quickly numbed my brain enough to help me loosen up.
Avery cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered at the top of her lungs. “Get ’em, Tensley!”
Benji walked me up to the stage and winked at me as he took several steps back.
A snare drum was waiting for me. Four different colors of paint were in clear plastic condiment containers on a chair next to them. A white painter’s mat lined the floor.
I scooped up the rain slicker and slipped it on over my clothes. Avery would kick my ass if I messed up her shirt. My heart hammered against my chest like it did every time I was in front of an audience.
Drawing in a deep breath, I picked up the purple paint and squeezed an ample amount on the drum. I followed it with blue, yellow, and green. I glanced over at the DJ and nodded. The beginning of “Start a War” by Klergy boomed through the speakers, vibrating the wooden stage beneath my feet.
I raised the drumsticks over my head and lowered them in beat with the music. The crowd turned toward me and quieted.
“Get it, babe!” Benji hollered.
I grinned at him as the magic flowed through me. With each strike of the drum, paint splattered in every direction. Bouncing on the tips of my toes to the rhythm, I slammed a drumstick in the middle of the painted membrane and bounced it into the air. Everyone in the bar cheered as I caught it and sank into my own world. The longer I played, the more the audience disappeared, and I was the only one in the room, communing with the music that pulsed through my veins.
Once the song finished, a hush settled over the crowd. I covered the top of the drum with purple paint and glanced over at my two favorite people in the world for encouragement. Avery and Benji beamed at me, and my heart filled with their love and support.
I tapped an intricate rhythm on the rim, bounced the sticks off the edge into the air, spun them around, and caught them. The audience went wild as paint sprayed over my poncho and face. My eyes closed momentarily while I entered into a five-minute routine, and my mind quieted. Music and my drums were the only things that helped me truly find peace inside myself. When I played the last lick, I let out a loud whoop. Thunderous applause finally pulled me back to reality. I flashed a grin at Benji and Avery while I removed my now multicolored slicker and wadded it into a ball. I dropped it on the mat and hopped off the stage.
“Damn, girl, you get better and better every time I hear you!” Avery gave me a big hug, ignoring the blue and yellow splotches on my face and hair.
“I need to go to the bathroom and wash up.”
“Coming through!” Avery called. Everyone let us pass by without us having to elbow our way through them.
“Oh my God. I am terrified when I’m up there, but it’s such a fucking rush!” I exclaimed, turning on the cold water. I grabbed a few paper towels and soaked them. “So much for any makeup remaining in place.”
“Lemme get it.” Avery held her hand out to me, and I gave her the wet mass that was my makeshift washcloth.
She tilted my chin up and dabbed lightly at my skin. “I think that performance calls for more drinks. On me.” She smiled while she cleaned me up.
“Thanks. Since I’m broke until next payday, I’ll take you up on it.” I tilted my head so she could reach my neck.
A few minutes later, we exited the bathroom and made our way to the bar.
Avery rattled off our order, and I glanced over my shoulder, locating Benji chatting up a guy I hadn’t seen before. My gaze returned to Matthew, the bartender, and I flashed him a shy smile.
“You’re hot as hell up there,” Matthew said while he made our drinks. His big brown eyes never left me as he poured a jigger and a half of vodka into a glass, then topped it with cranberry juice.
“Thanks.” Heat rose in my cheeks. I rarely received compliments, much less about my appearance, and I immediately turned stone cold inside. I’d worked for so long not to be seen, so I never really knew how to take praise or what to say in return. Unfortunately, my first thought was to wonder what the person wanted from me—my body or a blow job. Dark memories of my last foster home ripped through me, leaving me trembling slightly.
“Yours is on the house. If you performed more often, I think it would definitely pull in a crowd. Plus, I’d pay you in alcohol.” A huge grin split Matthew’s face as he winked at me.
“I might take you up on that sometime.” That wasn’t the first time Matthew had flirted with me, but it was just harmless. He wasn’t really interested.
Avery discreetly nudged me in the ribs, and I narrowed my eyes, shooting her a knock it off look before taking a drink of my Cape Cod.
“Thanks, Matthew. I appreciate it.” I gave him a grateful smile and scanned the room to see where Benji was. A flicker of something familiar caught my eye, and I turned toward the end of the bar. Eyes the color of blue-gray stormy skies stared back at me. My breath hitched as a chill tingled down my spine. The drink slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor.
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or some shit.” Avery grabbed my arm and shook it slightly. “Hey, Tensley.” Her other hand gently patted my cheek as she demanded my attention.
I dragged my focus away from the guy at the end of the bar and swallowed hard. This can’t be happening. How did he find me? Bile rose in my throat, and I willed the foul taste down.
“I gotta go,” I croaked. “Sorry I made a mess, Matthew.”
Matthew nodded at me. “You don’t look too good. Don’t worry about it. We’ll get it.”
Before Avery could say anything else, my focus landed on the guy at the end of the bar again. I wanted to tell myself I was mistaken, that there was no way in fucking hell Layne Garrison was staring back at me. But I couldn’t deny it.
